3 Ways To Fight Resistance In Your Marriage…

Mostly it’s the man’s job right?  To fight for things and be the leader, to take charge…  Well this may be a surprise, but I don’t exactly agree with that!  Sometimes a man is not always going to be able to lead you in the best direction.  Remember, he’s a human, not a hero.  Sometimes he may need help in the fight.

In walks woman, the helper!  If you’ve ever been in need of help, then you’ve likely learned the value of help.  Never underestimate or undervalue it.  Help can impact and influence a situation greatly, and for good.

I say these things to lead into the concept that you have the ability to be a beacon for better.  You should be a part of the direction of your marriage and life.  If you are experiencing some sort of challenge in this direction, which all of us do, then you might want to consider these things that can help fight that resistance…

Fight Resistance With Ownership

When in a marriage or family, you are a part of a team working for the good of the team.  This being said you don’t always wait for the leader to tell you what to do.  Here’s the key – YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for knowing what the leader’s priorities and goals are for the team.  Don’t wait for them to tell you, and don’t make excuses for why you don’t know?  With the knowledge of the priorities and goals, you should be able to make good judgement calls for what best suits the team.  There should be no excuses if you have taken responsibility for what the expectations are.  If you choose to go against those priorities then have a highly persuasive reason to back your decision.  Take ownership of what’s good for the team.

Example:

We personally experienced a learning opportunity in regard to this principle recently… We have been working on making decisions together and being in agreement on things before we commit to them.  I made the mistake of committing to a family trip before checking with my husband.  Although I knew his overall stance on the type of situation because as noted before I had taken ownership of knowing his priorities and goals,  I still made a poor choice.  I was misguided by some things I thought were good exceptions to the rules.  Let’s just say he wasn’t thrilled with my decision making.  It caused resistance in our marriage and we were forced to talk it through and figure out where we went wrong and what we could do better next time.  Working to understand your teams priorities are essential to making good decisions and keeping resistance at bay.

Fight Resistance With Help

Prayer is good. Pray and cover things with prayer.  Something I’ve felt lead to pray about more in my marriage is how I can draw my spouse closer to God.  I used to pray that God would help him and that he would respond.  Those are great prayers that are needed and appreciated, but I realized that sometimes I could do a better job at lending to that rather than interrupting it.  – Do you feel me?  Often I found myself expecting him to handle things better.  I would get disappointed and angry when he didn’t.  Then, I would make matters worse by blaming him and putting pressure and expectations on him that I could have actually helped with instead.  It didn’t end in goodness.  Now, I’m learning to pray for HOW I CAN HELP.  I’m inspired by the bible’s teachings, and this aligns with woman’s created purpose perfectly.  It also takes the blame and pressure off the man as the leader.  God made women to help man.  He even said in genesis it’s not good for man to be alone.  Start asking how you can help?  God designed men to appreciate help and I’ve discovered that they are extremely open to our attempts at helping.

Fight Resistance With Belief and Humility

If you’ve read this far then you’ve likely felt and believe that resistance is real.  That means you likely have felt and believe that triumph and victory are real as well.  So this is a good time to remind yourself that there is good and evil.  As we walk through our lives we are going to face both.  It’s inevitable.  Therefore, it’s best to be able to step back sometimes and remind yourself of this truth.  It helps to give perspective on what your going through and give yourself vision and a correct mindset to approach the issue your facing.  If your feeling paralyzed, remind yourself of what you believe, and why you believe it, then it becomes much clearer for how to start fighting for it.  Also, use humility.  No good fighter has ever been too proud.  Stay humble.  We can always, always, grow and do better.  Look at each resistance battle you face as an opportunity to learn and develop.

I know this is a deep and difficult facet of life and I wish each of you reading this victory in fighting resistance.  I have prayed for you in this regard as I’ve prepared this post.  Fight the good fight friends.  

live for the most!

xx kc

 

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