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Womanhood

You Are Not Alone… Finding Friends and Fellowship

I just don’t have a lot of really good friends…”  I hear it often, a topic that comes up in so many conversations with women.  Guess what?  You’re not alone!  

For a while after getting married and having children I struggled to feel belonging and find good fellowship with others which led to a tough time.  People kept reminding me that it was just a busy season I was going through, and it would be over before I knew it.  However, those kind and encouraging words still never helped me solve the ever lingering PROBLEM.  I longed for friends.  Not only friends, but deeply valued fellowship. 

As I started to search for answers, I seeked God in prayer and in studying the word.  I quickly picked up on a few things I hadn’t recognized before.  I realized that while going through this “season” I was actually becoming a new version of myself and discovering my identity in the world.  Therefore, of course my view and understanding of friendships evolved and changed.  

I wasn’t on my own anymore either.  I had a spouse, so friends meant for the both of us now.  Same goes with adding children to the mix.  Our activity levels fluctuated just a tad ; )   Fellowship with friends and a faithful community simply didn’t come as easy anymore.  There were lots more levels involved now.  Disappointment seemed to be hanging around at every outing.  Too many ducks had to line up in the row!?  

No one ever suggested that all these small but powerful details were big!  They mattered.  I had to recognize that these things were my new reality and my surroundings were in the process of developing.  I had to take a good look at why I believed in friendships and what I believed about friends.

 I felt god telling me to look in the mirror.  Ugh!  Who wants to do that?!  As much as I didn’t want to admit my shortcomings, Surprise, surprise, it worked!  I had to reevaluate my own qualities as a friend and learn to fill the gaps I hadn’t been minding.  The biggest reason we loose connection with friends is because we get busy in our new seasons giving our time, energy, and attention to new things we are learning about, for instance in my season…  being married and raising children.  I had become a bad friend.  I had some work to do.  I had also matured in ways and desired a certain level of friendship which wasn’t going to come easily either.

I knew it was going to take a lot of intentionality.  I began praying through it and making it a priority in my life to establish better connections and build community with others.  ( I even went as far as writing friendship goals each month and then reflecting on my progress. )  As I’m still growing in this at this time in my life I ask for grace and forgiveness a lot, but I have undoubtedly seen great fruit from taking ownership of it and working to improve this area of my life.  

I struggled with it for some time before taking it to god and asking his advice on the matter too.  Once I did this, he opened one door after the other.  It just seems that when I’m honoring him he helps me to honor others and relationships simply grow and get better. 

I write this to encourage you to think hard on this matter and take a good look in the mirror?  Relationships matter in every stage of life and if you want to have strong ones then you have to start working on them now, they don’t happen automatically.  They are just like marriages and family connections, you have to build bonds over time and seek friends who are brave enough to correct you and humble enough to take correction from you.  It’s a give and take, just like any other successful nature.  I’m lucky enough to have kept many life long friendships from childhood, as well as build new interesting and fun friendships throughout my journey.  As I grow older each year I learn to value fellowship and good friends more and more and not take good people for granted.  Often it seems impossible to get all we want and even give all we want to friends, but the little steps in the right direction start to add up.  I know I still have a ton of work left to accomplish in this facet of friendships, but I look forward to it now that I’m on the right track.  I hope that all the levels of friendships I have only continue to grow! 

In my personal journey I’ve found other believers to be great companions as they are not working to please others in a relationship, but to please god, therefore their love and compassion overflows and inevitably they have great relationships.  If you are expecting positive and thriving friendships, you have to work at being a positive and thriving friend.  For me, learning through faith about how much people matter and how much relationships matter was a big push towards making this an important priority in my life.  

Adding to this, it is also an important priority to learn to be your best as a friend and gain experience, integrity, and character through respectful relationships because it’s so important to lead the next generation into healthy adult friendships, as well as others who may be watching you.  I can’t help but acknowledge that my daughter is watching my every move… listening, observing, taking note, modeling.  If I teach her the golden rules, I have to walk the walk.  Of course we will all fumble our way through, but the honest humility of our efforts, apologies, and amends will help us to keep our eyes focused on what is good and right, and help us realign our hearts and minds to attain the goal.  

Ask yourself these few questions –

Are you struggling with finding good friends?

 How can you become a better friend?

 What qualities do you desire in friends?  

I hope this post humbles you as it did me and helps you to get real with where you are, where you’re going, and how you will get there.

Life’s a journey!

Live For The Most

xx kc

Why Dresses Are The Bestest

 

I keep adding more and more dresses to my wardrobe because they are just so good!  I’ll choose a good dress these days over any other article and here are my reasons why… 

Comfort 

Dresses are perfection for a woman’s body.  You can move so freely in them and not feel like anything is too snug around the waste, butt, or thighs.   They can also allow you a little growth throughout weight shifts like pregnancies…  I could have endless reasons to talk on why dresses are my comfy uniform!

Timelessness

Dresses are hard to outdate.  They are so simple and classic, it’s really hard to find a dress that doesn’t have lasting style.  This being said your purchase with a dress goes a longer way because you will likely wear it throughout various trends.  (When I am looking at style on pinterest or any other inspirational lookbook I’m always most drawn to photos of women in dresses or classic pieces because they just look so timeless and the look simply lasts through the trends.)

Transitional

Another wonderful reason why I adore wearing dresses!  When you buy a pair of shorts or capris you’re only able to wear them during specific times of the year.  When I find a great dress I can get much more use out of it because I can typically make it versatile throughout the seasons.  When looking for dresses make sure they are transitional then you can throw a sweater on it in the fall, tights in the winter, or a jean jacket come spring.  Dresses really are the bestest! 

stay simple, stay true, remember what matters too. 

KC

Women Living For The Most… Featuring Shauna Hursh

I met Shauna at Hopespoken last year and we we’re kindred spirits right away.  She is so life giving and a total breath of fresh air!  She has her own clothing business called Poor Pitiful Pearl which is completely darling, but I love her for much more than that.  She offers an interesting and unique perspective on life that will make you wanna load up in her airstream and spend the summer on her high!  She’s a true California girl living life on a Texas farm with her husband and three babes.  A creative to be envied, and a mother to take notes from… get your right brain ready and prepare your heart to melt.  Meet my friend Shauna!

 

1. Why is it important to you to be “living for the most?”

I think if we are honest, most of us can say that we have at one time in our lives, if not often, found ourselves feeling like a hamster on the wheel of life. Especially as parents, just the basic needs of cooking, cleaning, schooling, driving, working, paying bills etc can completely fill up ones day. A few years ago, I cut the cord on designing custom pieces for customers. At the time this was a huge risk. My business was built on custom work resulting in over 50% of my income and my regular clientele was loyal and consistent but also set in their ways of doing business with me. The business that I built to bring freedom began to feel like shackles as my sleepless nights proved I just couldn’t keep up with the demands. For a while, I tried to just keep swimming. I felt breathless as though every day was a new wave that would take me down before I could come up and catch air. After several health scares and a miscarriage , I had my come to Jesus moment. He sat me down like he does and gently convicted me to make the much needed changes and push through the fear and trust him. I was ready, still not knowing what that meant. I gave it to him. I wrote the blog, no more customs… and then I was done. Just like that. Ironically, my business didn’t dissolve or even slightly suffer. Instead I felt immediate peace. This was a huge faith lesson for me, because I realized it really had less to do with my workload and more about truly trusting him and giving him the things I hold so tightly too out of fear. To me, living for the most, means saying YES to the BEST thing, HIM. Sometimes in my life that means saying no to perfectly good things. Sometimes it means doing things that the world resents or doesn’t understand. Ultimately, aligning my life to HIS purposes, because I’ve done it “MY WAY” and experience has proven that there is no greater place to be than the center of his will.

 

2. How are you accomplishing this right where you are? 

Because I know life naturally leans toward busy, I have to be intentional with my time. I pray about commitments, and I’m learning to go without certain luxuries for sanity’s sake. I’ve let go of feeling the need to please others, but instead I perform for an audience of one. GOD. Or at least I should say thats my aim. Of course I am human, and I fall short. A perfectly balanced life is not possible, but every day is a new challenge to get it right. Even with our homeschool, I never thought for example it would be possible to make time to observe a bird in nature and then spend hours sketching it and or reading about it, or find the time to set aside academic workbooks to teach my kids how to sew. When they say “ stop and smell the roses”, its not a suggestion. I think its a way of living that has been so life giving for my family. Being in nature, reading good books, teaching my children valuable life skills is not extra curricular, it is the basis of what we do now. We find time to live well.

 

3. What is a good idea, tool, or resource that’s helping you in either family life, home, or womanhood?

Right Now, I am loving Wild and Free Podcasts. { bewildandfree.org }
Being a homeschooling Mom, I have few friends who have chosen this path. I also live on acreage in a small country town, where getting together with my friends in the city is an hour drive. While I love my country life, it can be isolating if I am not intentional about community. Hearing the encouragement and support of other Moms in similar seasons of life is very uplifting and inspiring.

 

4. What is a favorite book or quote that has offered you knowledge or inspiration?

Right now my go to verse is:
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

 

5. What advice would you give your younger self? 

I would tell myself to live with less. Keep things simple. So many times because of ambitions, creativity and dream chasing, did I unnecessarily complicate my life. Without realizing, I would say YES to everything that excited me, afraid of missing out, and many of those things robbed me of greater things. Approaching 40, I have new revelations that some times success looks like downsizing, seeking those sweet margins that create peace and a pause.. because otherwise you miss the most important things by being busy with the time sucking things that wont matter in the long run. Its okay to stop and breathe. Life is short. Live well.

 

A huge thank you to Shauna for taking the time for this series and for giving us some insight from her personal life that we can take with us to inspire our own journeys.  You can find her on instagram @hurshfamily.  

Live for the Most, 

KC

Memorial Weekend Musts

Every memorial weekend it rains here.  We get all excited planning our grand long weekend plans and then a big storm blows through and we end up looking out from inside the tent at the torrential down pour with shivering wet heads and shriveled up smores.  Sounds like fun huh?!

Well, it truly is. Ha! We’ve come to learn that the best times are in the unexpected, and we embrace it!   Rather than chasing other plans we just stick to our guns and let the rain come if it wants to.

Here’s 3 things we do every memorial weekend come rain or shine though…

  • We pick wild flowers to take to the cemetery in remembrance of our loved ones.  This is a tradition that I’ve come to love.  It’s a sweet reflection time for us as a family.

  • We take a little float trip down the river and then cookout hot dogs and roast smores over a bonfire.  Any water activity will do but you must kick off the summer season by playing in the water over the long weekend.  Sometimes it showers but I guess we are just used to that by now.  We just expect it and let it make the day exciting.

  • We have a deep long discussion about war and sacrifice and all the servicemen as we remember and honor all that it cost for us to live so bountifully in America.  My husband is so wise on this topic and I could listen for days about the history of America and the world in general actually.

Don’t forget your long weekend wear…

 

 
xx kc

Women Living For The Most… Featuring Abigail Aviva

It’s a pleasure to get to introduce you to Abigail.  She is my Young Living consultant.  We met through a mutual friend, Danielle Burkleo, and we’ve enjoyed a sweet friendship every since!  I have fallen in love with her!  She has the kindest character ever.  I love people with truly great character.  Character is so valuable and honorable.  

Abigail is one of those people who is the same wherever and with whomever you find her.  Always the most thoughtful and first to be of help.  Someone worthy of paying close attention to.  She’s like that sweet mama, watching and smiling as you fumble your way through, ready to offer you a cookie and milk when you fall off your bike.  

She’s got wisdom and she cares deeply about sharing it with other’s along the journey.

She is married with four children.  She blogs what’s on her heart at A Mommy Thought, sells essential oils @theoilsmarket, and enjoys home schooling her children.  She also loves music and leads worship at church with her husband!  

Let’s hop on that bike and peddle forward as we read some great perspective and encouragement from a wise woman’s words…   

Why is it important to you to be “living for the most”?

I think that I lived for too many years held back by fears, and those fears grew and grew and controlled too much of my heart and life. In the last few years the Lord has really been changing my mindset and restoring hope and peace in my life. I spent a good and long season off of all social media and soaked my mind in scripture and truth. I would workout listening to Bible teaching podcasts or worship music and just let the truth of God’s words flood my heart. We had walked through so many heartaches and impossibilities and the Lord truly did BIG miracles in our family and marriage. I finally got to the point where I let all that fear go and fully surrendered everything to the Lord… and He has been restoring and redeeming and overwhelming us with such sweet blessings that I’m forever grateful for His unfailing grace and love poured out on us. It’s given me a burning in my soul to live this life to the fullest, always pointing back to the One who gave it to me in the first place. I want my kids to live boldly, with courage and bravery… knowing that I have to first model that to them so that they can step into it for themselves. Living for the most brings glory to God because He is the Creator of this life that we live. It honors Him and my life’s mission is to bring Him glory, honor and praise… and I think that all starts in my home.

How are you accomplishing this right where you are?

I start every morning getting up while it’s still dark and the rest of the house is quiet and asleep, and I get my big blanket out, coffee in hand and sit on the floor in the living room with my bible and journal. I put on essential oils that help my mind to focus and I pray, pray, pray… for anything and everything that is on my heart. I pray for my husband and children and home and friends and ministry and emotions and everything. I ask the Lord to give me peace and guidance and grace throughout the day. Then I read my bible and write things that the Lord puts on my heart. It helps to start my day right to prepare me for what’s ahead. I need it every morning and if I end up skipping it, I feel the difference the rest of the day.

What is a good idea, tool, or resource that’s helping you in either family life, home, or womanhood?

I love writing Scripture on little notes and putting them up throughout our home as constant reminders to myself and my children. I play worship throughout the day, especially when attitudes (including my own) need to be adjusted. When I’m overwhelmed, I stop to pray and just breath for a minute. I pray with a friend or my sweet husband or just alone in my room. I journal my thoughts. I clean my house! It’s so hard for me to focus or relax when the house is messy.

What is a favorite book or quote that has offered you knowledge or inspiration?

This is one of my favorite quotes:
“How completely satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God who has none.” AW Tozer
I’m watching the Lord take my life and make it something only He could have put together. He has made beauty from ashes. He’s given me hope where I had lost it and He’s brought freedom in to where only bondage had been. Nothing is impossible for the Lord and He’s been proving that in my life over and over.

What advice would you give your younger self? 

My advice to my younger self would be to trust Jesus with everything. To stop fearing the unknown. To not assume the worst but to put my hope, faith, and trust in the Lord, no matter the cost. To believe that He is for me, not against me and to step out boldly in whatever He called me to. It’s taken me years to finally fully step into all of this. I let fear control my life for way too long. I would also tell my younger self to give more grace… more grace for myself as a woman, mama, friend, wife… and to give more grace to others because maybe they’re just doing the best they can. And to pray everyday, give thanks to the Lord no matter what the day brings and to fill my mind with God’s Word.

Thank you so much to Abigail for sharing these great ideas and insight!  

Live For The Most, 

KC

Women Living For The Most… Featuring Eleni From Convey The Moment

 

Meet Eleni!  Isn’t she a doll?  She’s beautiful no doubt, but her heart and soul are what makes her so special.  She has been a friend a mine for some time now, and she is the real deal.  Her heart is so genuine!!!  She loves to encourage other women and she is happy to share her insight on what it means to live for the most with us!  I’m so happy to have her here! 

Eleni lives in Canada with her husband and their adorable baby, Harlow.  You can find her on her blog  CONVEY THE MOMENT, where she writes, photographs, and shares about life, style, and of course “moments”  She believes deeply that each moment matters in life and she pursues this belief in everything she does.  She is always an inspiration to me and I know you’ll appreciate her perspective as well.  

So clear your mind of distraction friends and let’s talk…

“being in the moment”

Why is it important to you to be “living for the most?”

My personal mission is to live every single day. It’s so easy to get distracted by all the chaos in life, but it’s my everyday mission to slow down and live. I want to remember Harlow this small as she will never be this tiny ever again. I want to lay my head down at the end of everyday knowing I gave it my all… Focused less on others and what they are doing or how they are living life and more on us. I want to use my extra time to make others lives richer by giving back when I can and offering my heart every chance I get.

How are you accomplishing this right where you are?

I think the best way I’m accomplishing this is by staying off of social media as much as I can, getting out and living to LIVE, not to live to say I did. In this season of my life I find it SO important to take everyday for what it is. The struggles, the beauties, the gifts. To me being on track means I lived each day with intention and purpose and that guides my decisions and life choices. It’s really a strong guiding point.

What is a good idea, tool, or resource that’s helping you in either family life, home, or womanhood?

I love reading inspiring quotes to remind me of my intentions. It helps me be a better wife, mother, and human when I’m living a life without worry. Definitely a huge part of my day.

What is a favorite book or quote that has offered you knowledge or inspiration?

“live less out of a habit and more out of intent”

What advice would you give your younger self?

To not worry about the unnecessary. That life has a way of working itself out and everything happens for a reason. Worrying is a waste of an emotion, though sometimes it is inevitable, it is often unnecessary. It will not change the outcome, in fact it’ll often only make the situation worse than it must be. To me, that’s important. I wish I could have spent less time worrying.

A big thanks to Eleni for taking the time for this interview, and thank YOU for reading!

Be on the lookout for the next feature.  Coming soon!

Live for the Most, 

KC

Leisure Time


Haha isn’t that title funny!  I named it that to remind me to quit taking myself so seriously.  I’m in active mom mode all the time which is typically not leisurely feeling, but you know what- it should be!  We should lighten up more often and let ourselves do the leisure time fun stuff with the kiddos.  Remind yourself today to stop and PLAY.  Let some leisure in your life today.

Live for the most- KC

 

Hair + Self Care

Hey Today!  I have been asked often about how I keep my hair color strong which I always find funny because I’m overall pretty laid back with my maintenance 😉  For some reason though it keeps coming up in conversation so I thought I’d go ahead and address it over here.  All girls like to talk hair secrets right?

I’m naturally a light brown but I discovered in high school that I love highlights and so the addiction began… I also love that swedish blonde look so I forced every hair dresser to dye my poor hair super blonde for like ever and that led to a lot of damage and just not what I hoped for overall 😛

My best advice is listen to a smart stylist that tells you not what you want to hear, but what she or he is experienced in.  Most good stylists will tell you to stick to a color long term and to also to stay in a tone range similar to your natural color.  I learned this the hard way because I used to try for too blonde and it left my hair split and unable to grow.

As I mentioned before I’m very laid back so I also never paid attention to details very well, and when coloring your hair you need to be cautious and pay attention to the self care of your hair.  I would hold the hair dryer way too close when blow drying and then if it wasn’t quiet dry, I would still try and curl or straighten it anyway and that would lead to frizz and breakage.

I also had three babies within about three years and that took it’s toll as well.  I went through it growing super fast and being super healthy to it falling out and breaking off.  I also went through those typical stages of doing a drastic color change to chopping it all off;)  If anyone has been pregnant before you know what I mean!

Long story short, I went through lots of trials and errors with hard lessons learned before taking self care of the hair seriously.

These days I only get my hair colored once a season which means every 3 months.  Yes, that’s 12 weeks!!!  Crazy to a lot of people especially since I do highlights and roots grow out, but I’ve learned to stay within my tone range so when the roots show they are not that drastic and I use dry shampoo to help with the color difference (baby powder and OSIS are my 2 favs).  One is a low price point the other is a higher…

I also only wash my hair once a week.  I started with baby steps.  I began with every other day, then 3 times a week, then 2, then 1.  It sounds like a grandma I know, but it’s so much easier and saves a lot of time not blowing it out. I’ve got three kids remember so time is not much of an option for me.  There are lots of reasons I do this though… less damage, less time, less product, less money… you get the idea.

This brings me to another good point.  I started using a good color shampoo and conditioner after the last time I damaged my hair and noticed a big difference.  My hair dresser recommended I use a sulfate free product and wowza, it was a life savor.  Now I really don’t like using anything else.  My choices are purology or oribe but there are tons to choose from… These are salon based products.  However, they can be purchased at target, walmart, and amazon.

I hope these tips were helpful and let me know if you love these products too! xx

Prints + Patterns

I think everyone should have a few statement pieces in their wardrobe.  Whether it’s prints, patterns, or accessories, there’s beauty in the details.  The details matter.

In spring I always love a pretty floral designed dress or bright pops of color in a bold print.  This dress I purchased last year from Anthropologie, but they have some gorgeous prints and patterns to choose from this year as well!  I’ve also included some of the most gorgeous accessories for the season.  

Journal Notes… If I die today, What will be my biggest regret?

In the beginning of the new year I was thumbing through my 2016 journal and reflecting on all the thoughts I had collected through the year…  It’s always neat to look back at memories and events in life.  I made a promise that I’d do better this year at putting my journal thoughts on my blog and just talk as if I were visiting with a close friend over tea.  So here we are the first month of Spring and what better time to bring something like this to life right?

I’m planning to write one post from my journal each month over here… journaling is essentially what lead me to blogging and also what gives me insight for how I want to live.  Without journaling I would have never recogized the mission that leads my life and blog…  “Living For The Most” would not even exist.  I will share more of that story on another post and maybe some reasons why I think every person should have a journal, but for now, let’s focus on some thoughts that have come up lately…

Currently in my life, I’m involved in a women’s bible study called “Crazy Love”- by Francis Chan, a church bible study on Marriage by Francis Chan, and I recently finished the book “Entreleadership” with Dave Ramsey.  I’ve watched a couple of excellent movies, The Shack, and Pete’s Dragon.  I’ve listened to some super inspiring podcasts like Dale Partridge’s Startup Camp, and Wild and Free for mothers.  I adore any email I get from Maria Forleo, Terrain, Magnolia Homes, and Anthropologie.   I love Pinterest, Instagram, and the Outdoors, and I’m obsessed with art quotes from Sugarboo Designs.

These are all places I draw inspiration from!  A question or idea that keeps reocurring in all these facets is this…

If I die today, what will be my biggest regret?

Wow, I know, a huge question right?  It’s overwhelming and big I know, but it’s sooooo worth chewing on.  Luckily it’s something I’ve already been pondering on for the last few years of my life and so I’ve already thought some thought’s here.

The thing I’m most afraid of personally in life is that I’m too distracted and not living in the moment or “living for the most!”  As humans we are selfish, and it’s so irritating!  I’m sure I’ll forever be beating myself up about this because statistically it’s what most people on their death bed’s think about… Did I spend enough time with my family?  Did I act when it could have made a difference?  Did I focus too much on my own plans, agenda, or work?  

It’s something that is so important to me that I’ve made it my life’s mantra and my personal mission as well as the mission behind my blog.  It guides my decisions daily.  I want to be a person who see’s the bigger picture, a higher perspective than my own.  I want to live for the most, making each moment matter.  I want to put others before myself and be a helper of men and a servant of GOD.  

Be present, a good listener, a learner, a dreamer, a doer, a risk taker, a fun maker, an encourager, a light, a lover, compassionate, caring, open minded, hard working, committed, loyal, diligent, responsible, disciplined, adventurous!  

I think you get the idea.  I have said this line before and it pretty much sums it up…  

“Stay simple, stay true, remember what matters too!”

 It’s the best way I can explain it.  I don’t need to be famous, or super successful.  To me success would mean doing the right things when it mattered.  For having integrity and good character.  For being a person who represents wholeness and for inspiring others to be that too.  I think if I am able to accomplish this my purpose will be fulfilled and I’ll likely be lead down a lot of really cool paths.  

I’m dedicated to “Live For The Most”  I know I’ll fail a thousand times trying. but I’ve come to know the difference is when I make myself aware and responsible for my actions, when I humble myself to this standard and remind myself continually why this matters it naturally starts owning itself.  I am slowly but surely becoming who I desire to be more like.    I’ve come full circle to realize that I began this thought about how I wanted to live my life as just a thought, -live for the most.  It was simple, just make the most of everyday.

 There’s that great quote by Marden,

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities.  Seize common occasions and make them great.”  

It seems now to be taking on a bolder shape.  Now “Living for the Most” means living for God.  It means being careful with, and giving my attention to what he wills ,and gifts me with in my life.   

Have you thought this deep lately?  Take some time to take note of what would be your biggest regret in life and do something today to work towards restoring it.  

kc