Growing + Grace

When it comes to relationship advice, I don’t think there is a perfect answer.  I heard someone ask another last week, “What do you hope and pray for about who your child will marry?”  The answer was good, the guy said he simply hopes and prays that whoever his daughter marry’s will be open and willing to learn and grow.  I think that sure is all we can ask for.  None of us are good enough for each other but if we’re willing to grow together that is what matters.  It matters a lot.  In fact, I’d say as a daughter to a happily married couple, a wife of ten years myself, and a mother to children who will go out in search of a partner one day, my best advice is this… The willingness to grow and learn is very important for relationships to be successful.

My husband and I have not always had the best relationship, and if I’m being honest, we still don’t.  I will always say that because I think there is always more… Always more to learn, more to give, and more to become.  If both people involved in the relationship can say they are giving 100%  then it would be the BEST relationship, but until then (which is likely never ;), we should have grace and humility for ourselves and each other as we STRIVE for that 100%.

Through observation and experience I believe our relationships feel happy and successful during the striving part.  Essentially that is what relationships are built upon… experiencing life together ( the good and the bad ) and learning from each other.  The difference between the ones that last and the ones that don’t, is when one of the people or both people are not willing to grow.  period.

I know it is a harsh truth but it is truth.  I believe the best thing to think about when seeking and building relationships with others is to look closely at their willingness to grow.  If they are a person who seeks to know and do right, and who humbles themselves when they are wrong, then it’s a pretty safe bet that it will be a positive relationship with lots of goodness involved.

My husband and I have been doing some deep talking lately on a variety of very important things… We’ve committed to a bible study together, as well as consumed some other deep information lately so there has been lots of chatting and talking our thoughts out loud… More often than not we see eye to eye, but for those differences between us, we give each other grace and we hold ourselves accountable to growth.

For those of you who are still “children” or for those of you who have children.  I heard a great example this week about how to educate your children on relationships.  Pay attention to how they treat others.  How do they treat their parents?  Are they kind and gentle.  Don’t you think they will treat you the same way they treat their closest loved ones?  Also, let this be a caution for you to look at your own attitudes and actions.

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